Hudson, NY - When Charles "7-Toes" McGlintock paid the five dollars he owed for a box of items being auctioned off at an estate sale, he raised more than a few pairs of eyebrows. McGlintock, a Popsicle-Stick dealer with a penchant for dead old people's things, had no idea that the famous eyebrows were in the box. "I only wanted the porcelain candle holder thing," said McGlintock.
|Box bought by McGlintock containing Goldberg's long lost eyebrows.||Close-up of the eyebrows.|
As it turns out, Whoopi Goldberg has been without eyebrows ever since childhood. She lost them one day walking home from school. "It was a windy day, and I guess I just wasn't being careful...and the next thing I knew...whip...whip...off came my eyebrows," Goldberg is quoted in a recent interview with Tweezers.com.
The eyebrows have since been DNA tested and are a positive match to Goldberg. McGlintock suspects someone found the eyebrows, carefully gathered them and held on to them hoping their rightful owner would come forward to claim them, "That's what I'd do anyways," mumbled McGlintock. "But when no one came forward, I'm guessin' the eyebrows made a pretty nice birthday or Christmas gift for some lucky summa-bitch."
Later in the Tweezers.com interview Goldberg describes how her African American heritage was not the only hurdle she had to overcome in order to make it big in Hollywood. "I would go to auditions, nail my lines, leave the director and producer with their mouths hanging open, and when it came time for them to choose an actor, I always got the same thing, 'You know Whoopi, we thought you did a great job in there, but...' and I'd say, "Let me guess, you want a white woman for the part, right" and they would reply, 'well, umm, no...not exactly...well, you see...I guess there's no way around saying this...it's just that...YOU DON'T HAVE ANY EYEBROWS!!! What the hell's up with that, who doesn't have eyebrows? It's not right, not normal, not American and frankly it's not what were looking for in this character, we're sorry.' and I'd be out on the street again."
Goldberg got her first role in the off-Broadway comedy High-Brow, Low-Brow, and Little Miss No-Brow. "At first I thought the role of Little Miss No-Brow might be a bit of a stretch for me, but in time I came to think that I was perfect for that part," says Goldberg. While she received rave reviews for her performance, the show only ran for two weeks due to audiences not being able to remember the name of the production long enough to tell their friends to go and see it. The show closed as a result of low ticket sales but that didn't matter, by that time Goldberg's boat had set sail.
Goldberg was unavailable for comment regarding the recent discovery of her lost brows. What's next for the eyebrows? Will they be reunited with their rightful owner? If it is left up to McGlintock, there's a chance the woman and the brows could be united again, but she'll have to outbid a host of other fans to make that reunion a reality. McGlintock says with a smile, "You ever heard-a that EEEE-BAY? I'm gonna put me these here eyebrows on that inner-net and make me some money!!!"
McGlintock has been known by his friends and neighbors as "7-Toes" after an overzealous toenail clipping session 13 years ago resulted in the removal of three of his toes, leaving seven behind.